Pondering

        All the things in the world will not make a man happy if he knows neither friendship nor love.

                                        William Barclay

        I drew this picture a long time ago when I was working on a series of charcoal drawings of women with a dash of red.  Here we are at the end of another year ~ usually a time when people ponder the past and plan for the future.  But this is a unique time.  Very few of us have ever lived through a pandemic and I doubt any of us ever thought we would.  And while we can pick and choose what we want to remember we have all realized this past year that we can't pick or choose what is to come next.  In some ways 2020 has been a good year.  We've had time to catch up on things, time to connect with old friends, time to draw closer to family.  But in other ways 2020 has been a very difficult year.  Many of us have lost friends or family members.  Many people have lost their jobs.  Many others have struggled trying to juggle parenting with working.  This particular drawing, however, struck me as illustrating a problem not talked about that much ~ loneliness.  When my father died I tried to console my mother by reminding her how many children and grandchildren she still had to be with her.  Through her tears she replied that I didn't understand, claiming that we all had each other but her brothers and sisters, her friends, and now her husband were all gone.  I will never forget the depth of loneliness she felt and shared with me that day.  And so, when I think I cannot endure this quarantining business another minute, I ponder the past and am grateful for the family I had.   I think of the present and the family I still have.  And, throwing caution to the wind, I plan for the future and all the things I am going to do when I can once again be with the friends I know and love.  Ain't no pandemic gonna keep me down ~ oh no!  Oh no!